My Contigo water bottle is an asshole


I’m sure your first question is why?
We’ll let me give you a little back history first. My water bottle and I met when he was given to me for Christmas “Yay a new water bottle, no more overused Dasani bottles” – I’m sure the bottle was already smirking at my over enthusiasm.
The signs of what would ultimately be a rocky relationship with my water bottle showed the next day when I went to use it. Well, I couldn’t use it. I couldn’t figure out how to open it, yes I’m blond but I literally struggled for ten minutes before the boyfriend came and gently showed me the button on the back. Amidst my embarrassment I chalked that up to Strike 1 on this bottle.
So now I’m on the exercise bike and the Contigo bottle actually hangs from the bike perfectly and conveniently (yes there are some good points to the bottle) I had put some Vega electrolytes in my bottle because hey, a girl sweats. I grabbed my bottle off the hanger, pressed the mouth piece button as I drew the bottle towards my face and BLAST! The liquid that was hanging around the mouth piece sprays all over my face, shocking me to say the least. What the hell? I take my sip, put the bottle back and continue riding. Strike 2!
Now those of you who do cardio know your mind wanders, anything you can think of to not pay attention to the little aches and pains your body is making. So as I go to take another sip again SPLASH all over my face! Son of a b*tch I forgot! Needless to say the rest of the ride I was a bit more cautious of my 2 in 1 shower/water bottle and managed to keep it off my face.
I’ve continued to use my bottle since Christmas on a fairly regular basis but I would still say 80% of the time I forget about my built in shower feature. Yes I’ve tried to train myself to be more aware but taking a sip from a water bottle should and is a mindless task. My bottle has sprayed me in the car, at work, at the gym (too many times to count), at home when I’m settling down to a nice meal.
So needless to say I’ve come to the conclusion that my Contigo water bottle is an asshole!

(But it hasn’t reached strike 3 yet so I’m sure it will continue to amuse me for months to come)


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4 thoughts on “My Contigo water bottle is an asshole

  1. Kristel

    Yes!!!! This happens to me all the time! I also have the Contigo travel mugs. It’s a lot less “refreshing” when that sprays and lot more “ouchy”. Not cool getting a shower of hot coffee!!! Lol

  2. i just googled “contigo sprays me in the face” because im making a little semi permanent splash guard to hopefully correct this crazy problem. so many times i sprayed my specs, and even when i guard my face/car from spray, i get my hand sprayed, you cant win LOL

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